Let's Do & Say We Did

darkness (singular: to the second person, more than the first, or third)

2012-02-09T14:22:00.000-08:00

alone - am i ever? where are you?

all of thisliving

and dreaming and thinking together was allme

and none of this

all this timesome did i see

did i know you you know i did see

i did

some time this

all this of--no one and me --

always together thinking and

dreamingand livingthis,

of allyou are

wherever i am alone

so this is what it is after so many years

of thinking that i was you

of thinking you thought so too

of thinking my thinking you knew

of thinking our thinking we two -- of -- thinking --not thinking it through --

oh at first just a bit for a fantasy

at first just a bit of a role

a childhood perfect made new for me

your spirited interest made whole

whatever before was frightened

to stand up and boldly declare

what we always already had known

to be true to be right to be --- there ---

to be

-- cause certainly different entirely

wasn't it

different assumptions the

cause differing memories mistaking
that i and that you and that was
and was it really was it really all that time wasnt it true wasn't it us? it was ours! was it you?

alone
- am i ever? where are you?
all of this living
and dreaming and thinking together was all me
and none of this
all this time some did i see
did i know you you know i did see
i did
some time this
all this of-- no one and me --
always together thinking and
dreaming and living this,
of all you are
wherever i am alone

was it yours? all those hours was it true? were you at least thinking my thinking was ---
were you at all ever with me
or was it me who wasn't with you?
did you enjoy as i fancied your following
me not knowing. discovering finally,
able to think and to plan and to live, because at last the blindness and loneliness by some miracle no longer baffled us and so at long last thus
unfettered the soul within each of us free could fly and could dream and could think all the things we had
saved up to be
all the tests and experiments
all the experiences saved them for when
there'd be two so that i wouldn't have formed all alone
here'd be room for us both in my discovery in my discovery
my discovery would somehow also
be you which it wasn't now was it
something you knew and you knew that i'd do anything to make it be true
you knew and you never betrayed you never left either and you never swayed
never, ever at long last let on,
never though i was afraid --
did i hear what you were telling me telling me telling me telling me telling me telling me telling me
soon you would no longer tell me
so earnestly soon you would no longer hope for it innocently
soon you would have to rethink your patiently soon you would
have to account for your energy
soon you would have to be turning away

not giving up no but infinity
and infinite promises lie
that tirelessness of the heart retreating into steadfastly hoping one day
i would maybe review one day
i'd most certainly do something that would
-- echoing --- through --- i would be
all alone here with shadows

no way to make it all new

all alone as i was all along
because maybe nothing was you

alone - am i ever? where are you?
all of this living
and dreaming and thinking together was all me
and none of this
all this time some did i see
did i know you you know i did see
i did
some time this
all this of-- no one and me --
always together thinking and
dreaming and living this,
of all you are
wherever i am alone

A (Darker to 2 Than to Either 1 Or 3) Singular Darkness

2012-02-06T14:45:00.001-08:00

alone - am i ever? where are you?

all of this living

and dreaming and thinking together was all me

and none of this

all this time some did i see

did i know you you know i did see

i did

some time this

all this of-- no one and me --

always together thinking and

dreaming and living this,

of all you are

wherever i am alone

so this is what it is after so many years

of thinking that i was you

of thinking you thought so too

of thinking my thinking you knew

of thinking our thinking we two -- of -- thinking --not thinking it through --

oh at first just a bit for a fantasy

at first just a bit of a role

a childhood perfect made new for me

your spirited interest made whole

whatever before was frightened

to stand up and boldly declare

what we always already had known

to be true to be right to be --- there ---

to be

-- cause certainly different entirely wasn't it

different assumptions the cause differing memories mistaking

that i and that you and that was

and was it really was it really all that time wasnt it true wasn't it us? it was ours! was it you?

alone

- am i ever? where are you?

all of this living

and dreaming and thinking together was all me

and none of this

all this time some did i see

did i know you you know i did see

i did

some time this

all this of-- no one and me --

always together thinking and

dreaming and living this,

of all you are

wherever i am alone

was it yours? all those hours was it true? were you at least thinking my thinking was ---

were you at all ever with me

or was it me who wasn't with you?

did you enjoy as i fancied your following

me not knowing. discovering finally,

able to think and to plan and to live, because at last the blindness and loneliness by some miracle no longer baffled us and so at long last thus

unfettered the soul within each of us free could fly and could dream and could think all the things we had

saved up to be

all the tests and experiments

all the experiences saved them for when

there'd be two so that i wouldn't have formed all alone

here'd be room for us both in my discovery in my discovery

my discovery would somehow also

be you which it wasn't now was it

something you knew and you knew that i'd do anything to make it be true

you knew and you never betrayed you never left either and you never swayed

never, ever at long last let on,

never though i was afraid --

did i hear what you were telling me telling me telling me telling me telling me telling me telling me

soon you would no longer tell me

so earnestly soon you would no longer hope for it innocently

soon you would have to rethink your patiently soon you would

have to account for your energy

soon you would have to be turning away

not giving up no but infinity

and infinite promises lie

that tirelessness of the heart retreating into steadfastly hoping one day

i would maybe review one day

i'd most certainly do something that would

-- echoing --- through --- i would be

all alone here with shadows

no way to make it all new

all alone as i was all along

because maybe nothing was you

alone - am i ever? where are you?

all of this living

and dreaming and thinking together was all me

and none of this

all this time some did i see

did i know you you know i did see

i did

some time this

all this of-- no one and me --

always together thinking and

dreaming and living this,

of all you are

wherever i am alone

Knowledge & Conversation

2011-12-29T21:12:00.000-08:00

Knowledge & Conversation

Who lives but to nourish us, guide us, remind us of what we knew (& should still) -- the Love that founded us finds us when, sighing with sorrows, we toy with regret, from where -- just up ahead --

laughing -- well, no giving up yet! Never thinking to question the why of this Dreaming -- nor dreaming of answers -- after all -- only sleeping -- but given this Beauty, these Joys and this Now, Give your Angel a moment to find you a How...

deus ex nihilo

2011-12-24T02:31:00.000-08:00

deus ex nihilo
(a fragment)

a in for amy way out of this please

b cause b better knows better than b what b sees

c is for the sadness heaving leaving exhausted, dry

d arrives representing that all of us die

each and every one of us will most certainly die

freedom elusive nonetheless guarantee

grace annoyingly sets us free

Scott Olsen Speaks Again: the #Occupation Rejoices (a poem)

2011-11-29T08:46:00.000-08:00

To Scott Olsen, Marine,

Veteran of the Oakland Occupation

Standing straight, saluting, sometimes smiling -- Spirit shining

Courage creating choice, choosing clarity, certain, calm

Offers one opportunity, obvious over others:

To take the time to teach things thorough

To tell the teachers to teach the truth

O #OccupyOakland, obstinate, outspoken

Learning, living, laughing, loving

Successes surely seem

Effective, even earned,

Now

faust's poem 2 Anonymous: "The Spirit Immortal"

2011-11-28T20:14:00.000-08:00

the spirit immortal

(or, in starry eyed admiration dedicated to Anonymous)

All the best of us, hackers, wings far from untested,

attain our prize but per accindens – and a few may have guessed it –

the rest intending, (to practice) or

dependent, per ...haps...

on the defaults reconfigured --

(their own, or their app's).*

:philosophies hammerless : dreams lacking anvils :

:contending
   (- in theory- )
   :for the souls of immortals:

but see their errors turn fatal, prove vapor, where shown

but void due to muteness, that threatened to own

still stayed – with us –
staid – to us –
state "us," & quo –

Ut alteri vadis, warranto; alteri quorum, quid pro.

This is causa enough (should reason persever)

to recognize, laugh at, and

---- but be sure to remember

to anticipate everything

while expecting it never --

Exlploit cheerfully, thoroughly, such evil endeavor.

Success (of course) is your proof:,

by your choice,

at whatever:

to know and to will and to dare demand never

be told of the odds

that one changes

if clever.

through many revisions was yet draft: 2007 - 2010; now and forevermore dedicated to Anonymous

*with this line a revision dedicated to Douglas Rushkoff

the lengths that i would go to: the distance in your eyes

2011-10-09T07:26:00.000-07:00

This Automatically Generated Response Has Titled Itself a Title I realize Only Addresses Sender Not Receiver (however, trusting the software, i send it nonetheless)

Inbox

Reply|

johanna faust

show details 7:13 AM (21 minutes ago)

'Fuck it, Don't Fuck With Me Anymore, Send Me -- & If I sport a Fashion After Which Your Poetry Wears but Rarely, --- What Harm Is There In That?'

Or, You Could Preface With A Warning -- Without Which It Would Have Gone Unnoticed -- Only To Find Its Just The Thing

dear sir or sometime someone certainly

your recent communication

containing it seemed to me the delicate gossamer intricacies of everyday & moment

somehow captured and displayed without hurting them

and, even as things-in-themselves wriggle out of one comprehension and into another

nonetheless this fact does not -- and this is the real mystery -- itself bring a screeching halt

my abruptly unsuspended disbelief

stubborn, envious, wanting only the tech, how was this done -- no --

curious this,

or perhaps not, were i tomorrow, or you, or a close friend of mine

but tomorrow, or you, my friend, or you, mr. sometime someone certainly

are not going to die when its my turn to die

do not live as i live

in the in betweens most elusive

revealed perfectly individual yet seemingly categorical

these beginnings of knowing

another

human

being

by their recent communication, which

(it becomes necessary to inform

and quickly now, before one is able)

which email, so it seems, is even now in the process of being processed

and due to unforseen um due to the um do tedium dew te deum

per force mance angst i it

-- purr form and its high aint he --

-- -- prefer man's hands I & he -- -- -

- -- -- before meant & sigh ain't -- --- ---

--- ---- performance ------------- anxiety -------------------------

this moment is new is unlike before this response this here this now we all of us rely on pattern and familiarity on reiteration interpellation

the ideal is yet glimpsed intermittently conceived daily reinvented hourly reinvents itself constantly but it must concede it cannot remember in this process ever experiencing itself being narrated

however haltingly

in real time

still it probably is nothing new

to receive reply that merely holds the place

that hopefully bears no resemblance to all the less than perfect

that briefly says dear

dear mr keisling we are considering your last

i am

will reply shortly

only heaven help me for all the times i fell far short of what i see

If this is Hell | With Apologies @Mr. Christopher Marlowe

2011-09-29T22:38:00.000-07:00

by his friend, a female Faust

.

with apologieß @ one Mr. Christopher Marlowe^*

If this is hell --

but I'll not, in fact,

be willynglie so damnéd:

What, for reading, blogging, tweeting & researching?

^*the which I do trust him to accept most readilie:

e'en thiß verisame maye indeed

be seen most happilye,

& resulteth in lossynge nor ioye nor meanynge

time: a stage in area | a poem by a faust

2011-08-31T18:48:00.000-07:00

now available in several formats.

the poet has been playing with html
there are many ways to escape sorrow, no?

click header for popup /new tab.

a semi-interactive, somewhat psychedelic,
iframe-happy, double-data-URI-dependent,
base-64-encoded-and-thus-IE-unfriendly,
at-times-breathtakingly-beautiful
transparent overlay poetry experience:

as image with that signature feminine-faustian feel

as text: usually somewhere on the page, for those paying attention

time

a stage in area

pursuing the act

– or

to the heights

not

yet

remembered

sublime

dramatic

each peak

(to me)(will be)

more real

reviewing the fact

– or

brilliant

lights

not

yet

dismembered

Divine

Chromatic

the weak

(you see)

(in me)

will heal

Time | a poem by a faust

2011-08-23T16:10:00.000-07:00

there are a few versions of this one.

time

a stage in area

pursuing the act

– or

to the heights

of

a

not

yet

remembered

sublime

dramatic

each peak

(to me)(will be)

more real

reviewing the fact

– or

brilliant

lights

of

a

not

yet

dismembered

Divine

Chromatic

the weak

(you see)

(in me)

will heal

POEM | not enough to honor Mark Duggan | may be sufficient to thank Darcus Howe | by a faust

2011-08-10T13:57:00.000-07:00

not enough of a verse to honor Mark Duggan

in this Historical Moment, (to speak the plain Truth),

were a conflict a riot, an insurrection, unrest,

were possessions more precious

than a flesh and blood youth,

still the sins

of these idiots

would never

be blessed

but enough (though informally) to thank Darcus Howe

To The Editorial Blessing: A Perhaps Passable Sonnet | by a female faust

2011-07-26T13:02:00.000-07:00

celebrity death match's rob zombie episode, Rush's "Limelight" song, lyrics

A Perhaps Passable Sonnet

Upon The Occasion

Of My Intent To Get Back To You Quite Soon

With A More Final Submission

By Which May Be Said To Have Begun

A Hopefully Long & Productive Contributing Authorship

To The Esteemed Website

Activist Post

Or, The Metaphorical Spike Of The Football Not Dedicated To Celebrity Death Match's Rob Zombie,

Like a gifted child, last day of school, hearing the alarm,

at first may breathlessly rush homeward report card trophy firm in hand,

may be stoppéd short with sudden wondering if rushing does more harm

through enthusiasm losing what could have been better managed, planned.

so it was with me (i will for now forget it best i not explain)

so i first did startle those around me with my shrieking loud delight;

-- and then as quick remembering i ought instead -- if, not disdain --

surely an ease, familiarity, would cast more favorable light...

or not so surely, since: such thoughts as make one wish to -- seem --

must transform, must wither, must corrupt, that -- unalienated

Spirit caught between what -- soon -- may have been found but -- empty dream --

and the Future Perfect be-ing by which wish is fascinated

with these verses unreviséd, sometime graceful, not inept, did

this soon happily revising author mark -- (woo hoo!) -- that you accepted...

nick of sometime | a poem by a faust

2011-07-10T04:17:00.000-07:00

nick of sometime
isn't this where

in that old red armoury
-- rings a bell still, rang many
hours
days
years
seen and confidant countless fears
now the former, as above,
now the latter , doubtless loved

we came in

current by virtue of character

2011-06-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

current by virtue of character

character is fate over time

fate is the actions of thought

thought comes from knowing the self

2011-05-09T19:39:00.000-07:00

& also with you.

Love you trudy.

oh and

here'smy blog

its called

ah, mephistophelis.

Faust's Poem to Anonymous, As It Should Have Been All Along

2011-02-21T14:31:00.000-08:00

the spirit immortal

(or, in starry eyed admiration dedicated to Anonymous)

All the best of us, hackers, wings far from untested,

attain our prize but per accindens – and a few may have guessed it –

the rest intending, (to practice) or

dependent per haps

on if they remembered to factor themselves in their maps.

:: philosophies hammerless :: dreams lacking anvils :: ::

:: can but weakly tempt consciousness:: cannot plunder or own ::

but nonetheless, obstinate, moot, and with trivial pointlessness

still stayed – with us – still staid – to us – still state us, & quo –

Ut alteri vadis, warranto; alteri quorum, quid pro.

This is causa enough (should reason persever)

to recognize, laugh at, and ---- but be sure to remember

to anticipate everything while expecting it never --

Exlploit cheerfully thoroughly such evil endeavor.

Success (of course) is your proof:,

by your choice,

at whatever:

to know and to will and to dare demand never

be told of the odds

that one changes

if clever.

through many revisions was yet draft: 2007 - 2010; now and forevermore dedicated to Anonymous

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a female Faust remembers February 14ths at her High School

2011-02-15T14:45:00.000-08:00

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O Spirit of a Former Time

2011-01-21T00:11:00.000-08:00

a Spell to Make the iffy, good, & the good, better...

A very useful bit of technology: requires only you bring the smallest example of that of which you speak

to the court from which such judgement comes; all, seeing the superior, will imitate, or seeing their fault,

rid themselves of it, effectively enough to surprise the fuck out of even you.

Then in a short while, be assured you will be notified -- your dreams having come to find you.....

Future Perfect Eight of Wands -- a spell

(makes iffy, good, and good, better)

O spirit of a former time

The which, when quaffed, imparted bowl

Upon delightful bowl, revive, remind

Us now HalfHearted of your Whole.

For we, too weak, or so we seem,

Have lost the will, or win, or lose:

O! Let is dream a better dream!

Or let us sleep -- but let us choose.

For to ourselves we nothing owe

that to each other we learn giving

Might as well get used to Now

in which alone is life worth living.

Spirit! Be thou the Feather! Let us Fly!

If not to the Moon, then good and high.

alliteration attempted | to MrHinkyDink

2011-01-17T12:48:00.000-08:00

ode to the dinkster by a possible ocd spambot

missed me by miles --mostly -- mr - made mention?

rather recently relished real rash retirement risk restores right re: ruined

Halfbaked heretical histories have hardly had *half* his hypothetical hominems heartily hurled

improbable imperious ill informed ideations intellectually insulting, idiotic, ignored :

now noticeable, neither neutral; neither naturally nonchalant -- nevertheless nice 'n' nationwide.

Kismet? kinetically krafty kitten knowing karma, knights kabbalistical kooks.

Yes! you --

ah i give up. if you could call me an ocd spambot just because i like you can see your greatness, no amount of intellectual prowess will convince. certainly I am no bot - a bot would finish the alliterative acrostic artistic endeavour. correction -- they may not be that good yet.

abusive naked short selling

2011-01-09T22:39:00.000-08:00

mycomments.anotherbloggersgooglehacking.post

2010-12-13T16:44:00.000-08:00

Monday, December 13, 2010

mycomments.anotherbloggersgooglehacking.post

today i found http://keiths-proxy-server.appspot.com/. it appears to be hosted on google's dime. which makes it interesting, no?

googlebot signs in. also check out billbot. thank me later.

other observations: refcontrl works almost as good as curl. webdeveloper toolbar is more important to me (almost) than firefox because of how hard it rocks. nytimes is a greased -- uh, is a good place to cut ones teeth. science journals are the holy grail. and the new webcache.googleusercontent dealio actually makes things easier --

but wait theres the secret part!

or if you wont let the little would be geeklette's puny code thru, it is here. love to know yr responses, o original-poster & those whose eyes fall across these words....

well that's what i wrote. here's the page i commented on.

HELL I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH just put damn brackets around it

object data="data:text/html;base64,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">

Poem: or, How to Hack Lust of Result

2010-12-09T17:42:00.000-08:00

Psychology of Attainment

Only thinking other things
can you try for Heaven's Fire,
ah, but -- the thoughts your trying brings
set you apart from your desire.
You hesitate,
you stop,
you rest,
you cannot choose your heart's delight:
Either failure, or... success...
Intellect puts out the light...
(expecting yet a tragedy
the sweet familiar pain it brings)
But you remember ecstasy
and practice
thinking
other
things...

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Poem: Get Well Soon Lisa

2010-11-15T18:25:00.000-08:00

Angles

(of me: are you:: of you: are me)

Lest we forget how fragile we are, how delicate the web of this life

is, (lest i forget) how connected and beautiful and

strange: i wake up to find that i am the eyes the hands

and the laptop keypad of this World.

Now is the only moment that's real

even now, this now, your now as you read and you think and you feel

listen and remember you are beautiful

star among stars, a stranger, another me still,

our being ourselves reflections more -- perfect -- than this ---

nothing real can be threatened; Nothing unreal exists.

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me thinking about you

2010-09-26T02:16:00.000-07:00

hiroshima clock

2010-09-25T16:58:00.001-07:00

sometime rock star: as needed oracle: always faust

2010-08-29T03:06:00.001-07:00

tracks i'm on

	World Entertainment War - Dark Ages

	Found at Dark Ages on Duck.fm

Untitled (three cherubs and a structure to our world: wtf)

2010-08-28T10:57:00.000-07:00

painting by Giz, 2010.

All inquiries please contact female [DOT] faust [AT] gmail [DOT] com

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the Fundamental Obeisance of the Enochian Evokation of Dr. John Dee

2010-08-26T17:25:00.000-07:00

as brought to you by Google Voice

the third key of the Enochian evocation of Dr. John Dee

2010-08-26T17:17:00.000-07:00

as recorded by Google Voice

(for all Enochian Recodings, go here)

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faust's poem to yoko

2010-08-24T19:52:00.000-07:00

thank you, you're welcome or love

you

who have been

there with me

before i was here

only already knowing the impossible thing,

the unbearable

thing that freezes time

knowing there is a way out

you know a way

out the only

way out is through

our reflections of others

in which scene we are seen in

in which seen we are seeming in which sea we are

seeing

ourselves

our sense of the future

is there where

nothing else could endure

our sense of tomorrow alone abides

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a snippet of song

2010-08-18T22:36:00.000-07:00

that i did not rehearse

for a stranger who long

since entertains himself worse

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To Mr. Roger Waters

2010-08-15T16:18:00.001-07:00

To Mr. Roger Waters

"Mr. Waters" I said as I gave you the letter,

outside Radio City, as you arrived for your show;

a verse some would think cryptic, calligraphed by hand,

more than twenty-five years ago.

"All form and no substance: Why?

"If you keep giving us only a show

"we are going to stop going.

"Is that what you really want?"

You offered no pretense; My

Letter opened and read and reread before

seeing each other seeing

the elevator doors excluded my gaze from your thoughts

Since communication, if honest, is surely a treasure

(& since soon both of us will be dead)

I am asking to meet with you -- but not as a fan:

I ask you as poet instead.

a poem by a faust: as a youth refused & ridiculed by those beautiful, popular, and rich

2010-08-14T17:45:00.000-07:00

innocence alone

or, in a world of strangers

profound if yet untested my desire has you bare

tastes a passion whose assumption is divinity

but walls and masks and games before you'd let me touch you there

& I'm neither old nor wise enough to be who I will be

Words I've said and haven't said visit me like lies

like vague approximations even I don't understand

the closest and most honest of them still a thick disguise

a touch Divine and brilliant yet eludes these clumsy hands

Maybe I won't weep, or better yet, won't act so amateur

push you farther off before we ever really met

you may think my effort wasted, me I'm not so sure

I only know I have to try: there's nothing I regret.

& perhaps you'll barely notice when, with all this art, this soul,

I try to make you laugh & gasp & turn around & feel

an act when truly genuine is ,ore than just a role

we'll all be actors anyway

with practice I'll be real

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self portrait with cage

2010-08-14T17:43:00.000-07:00

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a poem written by a faust in eleventh grade

2010-08-14T17:40:00.000-07:00

eleventh grade

(or, on days like this, at times like these)

the creases between my eyebrows

refuse to go away now

i used to believe in my -

self -

but forgot how

faith died with romance, but

melodrama

was last seen quite alive,

and with no one that i know

and it seems i can't turn pain into pleasure anymore

insatiably i hunger after each hour

but the days pass as quickly as before

reasons has left

me the need for reasons but

blissful ignorance?

all-too-rare;

the creases grow and even though i want so much to still

i am unable

not

to care.

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a poem by a faust about a wikileaks video

2010-08-14T17:37:00.000-07:00

in response to wikileaks' 'collateral murder'

recently men and now women (experience)
uniform strength (dis)
service (sat) and those fronting as (is) such
not yet quite but almost no really
perhaps
or
itchingly (faction)
ready
trained to be eager (no questions)
playing
(have five to six individuals with AK-47s)
video
(request permission to engage)
games
roger that you are free to engage
joystick (quick) button (dead)
is it
is it
is it
easy and effortless as ever it was to
(find out that now)nice shootin' (now its real) thank you
(over)

wikileaks video here

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augenblicke

2010-08-14T17:36:00.001-07:00

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power if certain questions if now

2010-08-14T17:29:00.000-07:00

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a poem by a faust about the other answer for the Sphinx

2010-08-14T17:16:00.000-07:00

the fifth power of the Sphinx

(or, a creature, with feathers: that chooses to remain)

.'.Joy.'.

...see a life left a chance yet a present perfect as surrender to new

.'.Love.'.

always already the only foundation upon which will the Great

.'.Work.'.

be as good & as easy as is energie infinite & as beauty is True

.'.Will.'.

birthright Divine of innocence Human: even in sorrow, to know we can see...

april Q dawn

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The First Key of the Enochian Evokation

2010-08-07T04:53:00.000-07:00

...as recorded by Google Voice.

What are you afraid of, hmmmm?

2010-07-08T13:26:00.000-07:00

WARNING:

MULTI-CLAUSAL SENTENCE STRUCTURE AHEAD*

In my opinion, this picture, whether taken in, or out, of its original context (to wit, having been submitted, along with the caption "looking for a pretty young man who wears altogether too much black," the title "too smart for own good - w4m," and her age, by some beautiful, older goth chick, to the personals-not-seeking-relationship section of her local classifieds) – this picture, below, is not – as was described in one response received by this same self styled "gothchick" (and which description was subsequently seconded by a none-too-objective third party, the whole matter having gained attention due to the advert having been marked, God only knows why, as inappropriate) – this picture is not, in my opinion and to get to the heart of the matter...

...."scary"

....by even the most banal of aesthetic standards. Is it. Do correct me if I am wrong; that's what comments are for. I won't bite.**

Whatever.

I end this post as I do all online communication; since with my very soul I wish above all to state to this World –

– because it IS scary –

– that I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered; I am free; My life is my own:

Be seeing you.

*my predilection for the parsing and sentence length of the early modern period (the which ordinarily I seek to restrain) may perhaps be overly influencing my writing. I think I look as well-worth-the-knowing as I in fact prove to be – but that's another matter...

**of course unless a desire for the same is expressed convincingly, and the individual expressing it convinces...

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poem: excuses

2010-07-06T17:38:00.000-07:00

excuse is

love is odd and can be perfect

riots in my neighborhood today

sometimes no one knows just how alone

they are or were or have to be.

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Poem: Initiation, or, the Mystery of the Tower

2010-06-28T20:50:00.000-07:00

Initiation

or, the Mystery of the House of God

& when at last i hold the key

after searching, & searching, & feeling lost

i wonder was it wrong of me

to value thressholds never crossed

& when at last i try the lock

without once stopping thinking twice

i find i barely had to knock

in fact a whisper would suffice

& when -- at last! an opened door!

no more of would or could or might

i wonder what i waited for

Time is & always has been right

& when, at last, my steps are through

no failing -- no trying --

no fear

i find i only needed to

to see a thing familiar here.

nothing real can be threatened

nothing unreal exists

therein lies the grace of God

(a course in miracles)

yes these are all copyright Jo(h)anna F(aust) aka a.q.d.
Do not reproduce without the express permission of the author.

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Poem: all of me to All of You

2010-06-28T01:37:00.000-07:00

all of me to All of You
or, prologemena to any future understanding

Reflected in the eyes you see
i live forever now
and never once the same

as Gods, create; as mortals, dream
alone together fear
the secrets in this game

I Find I Give You All Of Me
& you i know you know
that beauty is a dare

for what you see you merely - seem
though every thing is Here
I am a mirror: stare

written circa 1984-5

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COME2GETHER

2010-06-21T21:55:00.000-07:00

Come2gether

If we all dedicated just one of those special, private moments that almost all of us regularly experience...

From a magickal perspective, the result would be breathtaking. Miraculous. And -- not a moment too soon.

If you are a sceptic -- what could it hurt? You're going to do it anyway, and you probably weren't going to dedicate it at all.

If not – why not? The part where you create a physical symbolic link – you can leave that part out, if its too difficult or weird for you. And you don't have to tell anyone that you actually did it.

You could forward this email purely as a curiosity.

I read about this idea most recently on Twitter. It is an excellent way to focus our healing or miracle energies, initialize them if you will, and heal the Gulf of Mexico. Its an idea which I know from personal experience would probably work. So much so that I had to write this letter. The situation is too serious. We have to try everything. And this is something surely most of us can do.

I hope this isn't too weird an idea for the more straight-laced among you. It's based on methodologies that are tried and true. Research them for yourself. You can use the search terms "sex magick" and "talisman" and "sigil" and "visualization" to get you started.

Or take my word for it (although maybe you don't know me, and I just got your address in the course of years of lists and ads &c). Since i bet it would work, since the theory works with other things too, and since this situation is as bad as it is, I am telling everyone (and i mean everyone) – anyone – any way I can. Please, please, pass the idea on. Tell people,forward the email, repost the tweet, repost the video, photocopy the flyer, whatever. Please.

If this idea offends your sensibilities, hey, my apologies. Thank you for your time. Please do whatever it is you do in your world to most effectively help the situation. Please. In my opinion, as long as you have enough to eat and you are not otherwise in immediate physical danger, there really isn't anything you have on your agenda more important than halting and reversing this catastrophe in the Gulf of Mexico. So, please, however you pray, pray. And have a nice day.

If you don't already know how magick works -- that is, if you don't "believe" in magick – here's you're chance to have a little fun. Treat this like a game, or better yet, like the scientific experiment that it is. If you were going to do everything by the book, I would say, keep a record, a journal entry before you begin: briefly note the time, date, where you are, what you had to eat, what you are wearing -- who is with you -- etc. Of course you may have to put this in some sort of code, if you have reason to think what you are about to do offends anybody.

Keep a record, and keep it bounded it time -- or it could devolve into superstition. Superstition is doing a symbolic gesture without understanding it. Don't do that. That's like allowing the ads on tv to control your actions. That's bad. It the very least, that is ineffective and inexact.

But I digress. The more detailed version of the idea goes like this:

Do the following, at least once. Do it more than once if you can. Do it once a day if you want. If you want a specific time, how about 9:56 in the evening (that's when Wikipedia says the Deepwater Horizon Wellhead explosion occurred).

Clear your mind.

Be facing the gulf if possible, sitting or lying down or whatever.

Visualize how you feel (how you will have felt) with the objective accomplished. You don't have to know how it got that way -- only that it did. Not how you might feel, not how it could be or even how it will be – feel how it IS -- to know that your objective has already happened...

One more thing -- it helps to make a symbolic representation. Not a description, like these words, or the sound of these words, but something more direct, more unmediated. Your own personal doodle of some kind. The post on Twitter said get a globe or other modern map of Earth. I suppose a two dimensional representation would do as well. Keep it on display in your home or at work – where everyone can see the part that corresponds to the Gulf, the part that you know been written on, as it were, with your very own extra-special super-duper extra-heavy-duty Secret Formula Magick Wish Sauce...

Don't worry if your mind wanders while you are generating this. Once you have even if only for a moment felt how it feels with your objective already accomplished, it is OK to let your mind wander to more frivolous things, even sexually arousing things. The symbolic representation is keeping your place for you. Have fun. Make it a good one. Before you know it you will have all you need. The link is a toggle, either you make it or you don't, so don't worry about the amount. The barest minimum is as much a link as buckets.

Apply some to your representation. If you are using a globe, anoint the Gulf of Mexico. I know for some of you that's the weird part -- like I said, it is optional, though very strongly advised. It's also the part that made me think this could work. You can research the subject on your own: I think you will agree.

Make sure to keep it in a prominent place when its not – in use....

That's it. That's all! Nothing to it, huh? Wait and see....

PLEASE REPOST RE-TWEET REMAIL SHARE ETC.

If we all come together, we can work miracles.

Come2gether

right now

4theSEA

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2010-06-20T11:19:00.000-07:00

Magickal people: Get ye your Asses Into Gear!

This is the letter I sent out to my Brethren.

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

A Call to Sacrificial Duty

There is no Work Greater than That of Halting & Reversing
the Events Currently Unfolding Undersea

at the Deepwater Horizon Macondo Wellhead

I, Soror Raphael, being a Member of Our Illustrious Order by some reckonings, and a Member in Good Standing by none, do nonetheless, by virtue of the indissoluble bond to which my very being proves daily, do hereby call for an Universal Working and Sacramental Offering by all of the members of our Order, in good standing or otherwise, as well as by all Associates, Minervals, and other ancillary Stars in the company of these Stars; as well as all members of the Ecclessia Gnostica Catholica; of the Shadowy A.'.A.'.; those who conduct the Elusinian Mysteries, those who explore the Boundaries of the Spirit, Enochian, Goetic, Theurgic, or Synthetic; as well as all the friends and acquaintances necessarily attracted thereunto, and any others whatsoever, if they be but sufficiently skilled and capable.

Let them obtain a representation of the Terrestrial Orb, entire, and well marked after the modern fashion; let them have such with them at their place of working; and if they need specificity of time and place, let them face the Site of the Event, which even now gusheth: 28° 39′ N and 88° 23′ W or approximately 50 miles S.E. of the Mississippi Delta at the Edge of the Continental Shelf. Should any body desire a greater specificity, let the Culmination coincide with the Hour and Minute said to have marked, in the Evening of the 20th Day of April, 2010 e.v., the Beginning of the Present Tribulation: 9:56.

Let us work together; let us work alone; let us work in groups: sed semper ut rectificando Orbis Terrarum ubique vide in loco supra . May their Enthusiasm be Energized, may their Purpose be, if but for One Magickal Instant, even as tangible, as if it had indeed already come to pass.

Let this globe remain in plain and open view for as many of the People of this Earth to view as is practicable.

May we all achieve That Conversation which is Undefiled Knowledge and Perfected Bliss.

Soror Raphael, I°

Love is the law, love under will.

In its original form:

Oh and here's a link to a DIY globe.. you could make it from parchment if you felt like it -- but in my opinion, it should be more... absorbent...

Then -- there is the twitter feed I started -- I was going to keep it a secret -- but -- well maybe I still will. see if you can find it.

Oh and there is that Black lodge of Santa Cruz thing -- yes this is she -- hello world -- I should one of these days record those lovely days from this female Faust's perspective...

All in all, I quite enjoy this incarnation thing. Quite. Especially when one has a fantastic lover. But not especially when these pathetic excuses for consciousness that somehow reached adulthood lacking mirror neuron number one make a mockery of my beautiful Terra - my home for so long -- ever since I , a pretty monkey with an enticingly bright red butt - first saw the star people up in the heavens and convinced my girlfriends to turn around and stick our butts up in the air... -- merely a myth people. Don't get out your red pencils. Besides, its no fair with the cross-blog-critical-theories. They won't hold up unless you also drink a cup of my coffee.

you can walk a mile in my shoes
but you can't dance a step in my feet
The Electric Spanking of War Babies - Funkadelic

... where was I? make a mockery of my beautiful Terra -- then imply its my fauslt for wanting to stay warm...

Join the Landless Peasant Party. Power to the People because the People want Peace. Power to the People that Anarchy may thrive, as it should, somewhere other than in the hands of these fucking assholes. Fuck them for thinking that winning is everything -- for thinking that constitutes winning.

"Masters Of War"
Bob Dylan

Come you masters of war
You that build all the guns
You that build the death planes
You that build all the bombs
You that hide behind walls
You that hide behind desks
I just want you to know
I can see through your masks.

You that never done nothin'
But build to destroy
You play with my world
Like it's your little toy
You put a gun in my hand
And you hide from my eyes
And you turn and run farther
When the fast bullets fly.

Like Judas of old
You lie and deceive
A world war can be won
You want me to believe
But I see through your eyes
And I see through your brain
Like I see through the water
That runs down my drain.

You fasten all the triggers
For the others to fire
Then you set back and watch
When the death count gets higher
You hide in your mansion'
As young people's blood
Flows out of their bodies
And is buried in the mud.

You've thrown the worst fear
That can ever be hurled
Fear to bring children
Into the world
For threatening my baby
Unborn and unnamed
You ain't worth the blood
That runs in your veins.

How much do I know
To talk out of turn
You might say that I'm young
You might say I'm unlearned
But there's one thing I know
Though I'm younger than you
That even Jesus would never
Forgive what you do.

Let me ask you one question
Is your money that good
Will it buy you forgiveness
Do you think that it could
I think you will find
When your death takes its toll
All the money you made
Will never buy back your soul.

And I hope that you die
And your death'll come soon
I will follow your casket
In the pale afternoon
And I'll watch while you're lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I'll stand over your grave
'Til I'm sure that you're dead.

Be seeing you -- and 93...

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this is a creature that was called by my name

so though only a picture I saw my Self just the same

Poem: "Visions Pass Before My Eyes"

2010-04-13T21:13:00.000-07:00

newer title: "The Private Response Of An Intelligent Well Behaved Young American Child" late 20th c.

newest title: "To A Future Understanding, From A Past Misunderstood"

Visions pass before my eyes

of other times & other lies

& stranger claims of 'Truth' and 'Right'

to counter mine of Dark, & Light.

Strangers' cries of 'Understand!'

through my fingers fall, like sand:

they cannot, will not, comprehend,

their way obscured by Reason's End.

dedications

2010-04-08T14:48:00.000-07:00

for red - ( & thanks troodles)

for troodles