A (Darker to 2 Than to Either 1 Or 3) Singular Darkness

alone - am i ever? where are you?

all of this living

and dreaming and thinking together was all me

and none of this

all this time some did i see

did i know you you know i did see

i did

some time this

all this of-- no one and me --

always together thinking and

dreaming and living this,

of all you are

wherever i am alone

so this is what it is after so many years

of thinking that i was you

of thinking you thought so too

of thinking my thinking you knew

of thinking our thinking we two -- of -- thinking --not thinking it through --

oh at first just a bit for a fantasy

at first just a bit of a role

a childhood perfect made new for me

your spirited interest made whole

whatever before was frightened

to stand up and boldly declare

what we always already had known

to be true to be right to be --- there ---

to be

-- cause certainly different entirely wasn't it

different assumptions the cause differing memories mistaking

that i and that you and that was

and was it really was it really all that time wasnt it true wasn't it us? it was ours! was it you?

alone

- am i ever? where are you?

all of this living

and dreaming and thinking together was all me

and none of this

all this time some did i see

did i know you you know i did see

i did

some time this

all this of-- no one and me --

always together thinking and

dreaming and living this,

of all you are

wherever i am alone

was it yours? all those hours was it true? were you at least thinking my thinking was ---

were you at all ever with me

or was it me who wasn't with you?

did you enjoy as i fancied your following

me not knowing. discovering finally,

able to think and to plan and to live, because at last the blindness and loneliness by some miracle no longer baffled us and so at long last thus

unfettered the soul within each of us free could fly and could dream and could think all the things we had

saved up to be

all the tests and experiments

all the experiences saved them for when

there'd be two so that i wouldn't have formed all alone

here'd be room for us both in my discovery in my discovery

my discovery would somehow also

be you which it wasn't now was it

something you knew and you knew that i'd do anything to make it be true

you knew and you never betrayed you never left either and you never swayed

never, ever at long last let on,

never though i was afraid --

did i hear what you were telling me telling me telling me telling me telling me telling me telling me

soon you would no longer tell me

so earnestly soon you would no longer hope for it innocently

soon you would have to rethink your patiently soon you would

have to account for your energy

soon you would have to be turning away

not giving up no but infinity

and infinite promises lie

that tirelessness of the heart retreating into steadfastly hoping one day

i would maybe review one day

i'd most certainly do something that would

-- echoing --- through --- i would be

all alone here with shadows

no way to make it all new

all alone as i was all along

because maybe nothing was you

alone - am i ever? where are you?

all of this living

and dreaming and thinking together was all me

and none of this

all this time some did i see

did i know you you know i did see

i did

some time this

all this of-- no one and me --

always together thinking and

dreaming and living this,

of all you are

wherever i am alone