Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Poem: "Visions Pass Before My Eyes"

newer title: "The Private Response Of An Intelligent Well Behaved Young American Child"
late 20th c.
newest title: "To A Future Understanding, From A Past Misunderstood"

Visions pass before my eyes
of other times & other lies
& stranger claims of 'Truth' and 'Right'
to counter mine of Dark, & Light.
Strangers' cries of 'Understand!'
through my fingers fall, like sand:
they cannot, will not, comprehend,
their way obscured by Reason's End.


  1. Good movement of thought, but you need to be sharper w/ the word use. Not long enough to develop the light/dark / right/truth double-binary. Sand is too last minute and becomes mixed metaphor.

    Who is the stranger? Don't construct as self-vs-other. You can do better, because I've read your thoughts.

  2. Greetings. What a lovely poem. There is always something special about finding or being the "first". Yours was the only comment on an article I read. In a world of so many, to find a single one with a similar perspective is unusual, and intriquing. I wonder...

  3. i am tempted to comment in reply, "i wrote this when i was seven" -- but i think that is an inferior response. the poem alone is immortal, no? i altered the punctuation slightly - i will find the original, although what is most excellent is of course what becomes the canonical 'text,' whatever the earliest.

    not a mixed metaphor -- the reference is to the sensation of sand through the fingers, perhaps to the practicability of holding sand -- not very efficient. and i think i was affected by a verse from poe -- i have to check his works to see.


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